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You wouldn'tconsider that an episode of depression?" I mean, you're the mental health expert, but I don't think so? It didn'tlast anywhere near as long as those used to last, and it didn't reallyfeel the same."We went into the differences in how my old depressive episodes used tofeel and how I'd felt when Wyatt insulted me or the girls in gym gossipedabout me or Mrs. Dirksen said I "didn't belong" in the ladies' room."Back when I'd feel depressed, it was mostly like nothing was worth theenergy it took to do it, and there wasn't always any obvious reason whyI'd feel like that sometimes and not others. I mean, I had the wrong bodyall the time, so wouldn't that mean I'd feel bad about it all the time?I never cried like I did in the ladies' room last Sunday. I'm nothappy all the time now, I get frustrated and sad and angry sometimes,but there's an obvious reason why I'm feeling that way, and the feelingpasses when the reason goes away, or sometimes sooner."Ms. Hewitt nodded. "That. It looks shoddy, but I guess that's because it kind of is. But, scattered around it's battered-looking frame are more attachment points than I can usually find a use for, and some handy storage spots. That table has been my favorite piece of furniture for quite some time. Recently I had improved it by added a little timer. The old trick of freezing a key in ice, while effective, left too much to chance - I decided to make a better release. So, where I usually cuffed my wrists, I had put in little electronic locks that would open when the timer signaled them. It made getting out a little more easy, and meant I didn't have to worry about my house's temperature while tying myself up.I had had a rough day at work, and decided to go whole-hog and treat myself. I decided to fetch out my corset, and put it on, tightening it as far as I could, redoing my waist belt over it. I found the drawer with all my clamps and clothespins, and selected out what I thought I'd need. I grabbed two clover.
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